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Broken Compass

Some days, you wake up, not really knowing where you are and what the day is. It takes a few moments to shake off the dream world, and give your consciousness time to reengage with the waking world. For those brief few seconds or minutes, you have no concept of time or place, or even identity, you just are. A bundle of skin and bones wrapped up in pyjamas (or not, I'm not judging), inhaling and exhaling, allowing your senses to gradually allow the world to seep back in. Some days, once you've woken up, and gotten showered and dressed, and gone to work, or the gym, or shopping, you sit down and still feel that just woken up lack of consciousness. Some might call it disassociation, but I believe it is more of a broken compass. You try to shake it to make it work, but it can't find its centre, its true north. It's there, within that compass face, just not quite in reach. It's difficult when you're trying chase north for a long time, and not able to find it. Going t...
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Lighthouses

One of the main things that has kept me sane throughout my whole life has been my love of books. Writing, reading, studying. My Mum told me that as a child, before I could even read, I would drag a book around behind me like a teddy bear, and that I had a book in my hand ever since. I love the smell of physical books, the musky scent that reminds you of home and abroad; the feel of the pages slipping between my fingers; and, most importantly, the words. Books were always my safe place, and no matter how I felt, they were there to welcome me. I was drawn into the fantasy worlds of Enid Blyton as a child, before Black Beauty , The Railway Children and Narnia caught my attention. I started writing stories at age 5 - I still have the two page story I wrote about two birds trying to rescue their friend from a pesky cat - before my school started to notice my passion for writing poems. They encouraged me to keep going, and I felt immense joy when they were placed on the classroom wall for a...
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The Girl in the Green Car

Hello. 'Tis I. The girl in the green car. It's been a long time since I've written on a blog post. I had various iterations in the past which I deleted and then restarted at different points. I don't think I'm the same person now though as I was back then. I still drive a little green car, that part is still accurate, but as the years have progressed, I'm different. So let me introduce myself to you. I believe everyone sees themselves as a different person at different times in their life; the child, the student, the spouse, the parent, the employee, the retiree. My life hasn't quite followed a linear path though. I've zig-zagged across the months and years like a bad actor avoiding arrows being shot at my back, but somehow physically survived (just about). I observed from the sidelines as friends and family grew around me, travelling, studying, working, getting married and having children, but I sidestepped all the normal milestones completely and trave...
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